Shut the F*#@ Up!

There are few times when I bite my tongue, but every so often I have to, and I find those times are often when my kids are nearby.  One such time was on our recent Hawaiian vacation, when some jack asses decided to go for a swim!

One of our favorite places on Kauai is an amazing spot called "Queen's Bath".  It is a series of snorkeling "holes' made in the lava.  It's a long hike down, but once you arrive, the peaceful blue water makes it all worth while.  Many times there are sea turtles and you can safely snorkel in these amazingly warm pools without risk of sharks, eels or other scary sea creatures.  The main danger at "Queen's Bath" is the tide.  You can easily be swept out to sea if there is a high tide or strong wavewe are always AWARE when we go, and never do anything too risky! 

So set the scene in your mind, a gorgeous Hawaiian day, brilliant blue water, black lava stones, my kids snorkeling peacefully in a pool with a few other peoplethen in the background we hear chaos.  What had to be no less than 15 people come into view and it all began…

"Go on Blakey, you can do it!!  Dive in, it can't be that shallow!" Dumb Ass Dad yells.

"Really Dad, you think it's safe?"  Blakey responds.

"Well, we'll know soon enough won't we?" Dumb Dad yells back.

Seriously, he wasn't really going to jump into the shallow pool of water that we were all snorkeling in.  He wouldn't be so stupid.  Oh, how wrong I was...Good ole' Blakey took the jump.  Not only did he jump, but then they all began jumping, one after the other, like those dumb little Lemmings that follow each other off of the cliffs.  They were risking life and limb and stirring up the snorkeling water, ruining the experience for everyone else.  So...we all stopped snorkeling and watched the fools.

"What these idiots don't realize, is that it's going to have to be us that drags their bodies up the cliff when they crack their head open."  Another logical observer commented.

And how right he was...My experience, along with many other vacationers experience had now become about watching these jerks jump off of the rocks, and also having to explain to my ten year old why under NO circumstances was he following the Lemmings off of the cliff!

And here is where I had to bite my tongue, for my youngest asked to jump off of the rocks just loud enough for Blakey and Dumb Ass Dad to hear him.

"No Oliver, it isn't safe and it disrupts the others trying to enjoy the pools!"  I responded to my little expat~maybe just loud enough to be heard by others.

"Oh that's right, don't let him be a kid!"

Did he really just say that to me?  Seriously?  Bite your tongue, bite your tongue...and bite my tongue I did for what was I teaching my kids if I responded to Dumb Ass Dad?  What I did do, is secretly wish that one of the Lemmings would really stub their toe in the jump!  You know, not the break your foot kinda stub, just stub it enough to give them a good wake up call!  I am a bit bummed to report that they didn't and after a bit they left to go disrupt some other poor, unsuspecting tourists. 

But I learned something from Dumb Ass Dad and Blakey that we travel we must all remember that we are sharing peoples space, and we aren't all Lemmings!  When you travel please be aware of your surroundings and until your next trip, enjoy the photos of Queens some peace and quiet.


  1. "You go girl! I would probably need a muzzle on my mouth - keeping it shut would have been just too hard!"

    1. Oh it was very, very hard to keep it shut!! People just amaze me!

  2. Oh my gosh, this KILLS me. I could have never bit my tongue, that was too much. You're a saint.

    1. BIG jerk! And like I said, I was almost wishing that someone would bump themselves...that's pretty bad!! The whole time it was happening, I knew that it would make a great blog :)


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