mom, what's a...gunt? again, do not read if easily offended!!!

As I was cooking dinner one night my youngest expat came in from fuss ball practice and asked ...

"Mom, what's a gunt?"

I had to stop, did he just say the word that I thought he did? No, of course he didn't, where would he have heard that word?

"A what honey?"

"A gunt, the fuss ball coach said that word today."

After explaining that this is a word that we do not ever use and it is something that the coach shouldn't have used, I began to am I going to deal with this? We had been in Germany for about 2 months. I didn't want to be the squeaky wheel on the fuss ball field, the American helicopter mom. Great, what was I to do? I did what I had to do...went to the coach and expressed to him that this was not okay. He looked at me as if I had fallen from the sky.

"What do you mean I shouldn't use that word? It is the equivalent to s@*t, or a** in America, no?"

"Um no, it is much, much different, and it's probably not a really great idea to use it, especially with small children!"

Okay, that wasn't too difficult was it? Problem taken care of! Wrong...the problem was taken care of with the fuss ball coach, but not with my youngest!

On our way home from a day trip, we had to take a bathroom break at a gas station. Once everyone was back in the car, and we were on our way, my youngest had yet another question for us;

"Dad, what's a pocket p@**y?"

I honestly thought that my husband was going to have a heart attack and wreck the car on the autobahn!

"Where did you see that?" he asked calmly.

"It was on the wall on a vending machine in the bathroom at the gas station. Right next to the picture of the penis with the grapes on it!"

We discussed with him what he had seen, in all of the ways that you can discuss this with a nine year old child! I was appalled and frustrated and most definitely was blaming our European home for exposing my son to all of the pornographic things and horrific language that he was learning about.

I talked to a British friend of mine about all that had happened and she didn't even bat an eye.

"Why is it, that Americana's would rather their children watch some one's head being blown off, then see anything having to do with sex or bad language?"

Okay, point taken, but I still had to be sure to teach my youngest expat that certain things were unacceptable, for during a trip home this past summer, I received a knock on the door of our rental house.

"Um, hi! I know you are just renting this house for a month, but I live down the street and your son was outside playing with my son and um, he called my son an a**hole!"

Really, I thought well, at least he didn't call you a gunt!


  1. Sometimes Germans have a hard time understanding that many English swear words are racist or misogynistic or discriminatory. The sex and nudity doesn't bother me so much as when they causally use hateful language.

  2. I agree Wiffy! I have to say I have changed my attitude a bit towards it all since moving here!
    Thanks for your post

  3. Hey you funny girl. Thanks for the laugh. Life is boring here!

  4. hahaha! I found this very amusing though I know I'll be in store for the same thing in a few years..

  5. Thanks for reading Veronica!! So much of life here gives me funny things to right about so keep reading

  6. Thanks for sharing this cute (kind of) story! I know it breaks your heart as a mom. I hated seeing my kids come face to face with the yuck of the world. Those innocent days sure don't last long. I lived in Germany for 3 years. We didn't have children then. That would have certainly been interesting!!

    1. Thanks for visiting! Yes, Germany with kids is a bit crazy. Kids in Europe are exposed to "life" much earlier than in the US and that is a good way to put it, "interesting".


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